Sunday, February 28, 2016

When Anxiety Has a Grip On You

I'm sure we have all experienced some sort of anxiety..

 Some anxiety can be useful. Healthy Anxiety: is response to a pressing challenge that helps galvanize a person to react to a task or issue appropriately and with his best effort.

On the flip side, What if you worried all the time about everything? 


 I suffered my first panic attack at the age of 15 yrs old. Out of nowhere my heart began to race and pound out of my chest, my hands were sweating, and I couldn't breathe. I literally thought I was going to die!

 My sister rushed me to the ER and the Dr. said everything is alright, you had a PANIC ATTACK. I had no idea what that meant. I was only a teenager. He began to explain that I was suffering from anxiety, which led to a panic attack. 


PANIC ATTACK: a feeling of acute and disabling anxiety


 Over the next few years, I took many trips to the hospital thinking I was dying. All panic attacks. I started living in fear on a daily basis. I worried about everything and anything. I felt like I was losing control. 

 My Dr. wanted to prescribe medication, but I decided I didn't want to be on any medication. Instead, I suffered through the fear and anxiety.

 In 1998, I became pregnant with my first child. During the whole 9 months, I felt great! Sure, I worried about many things and had anxiety, but I didn't have any panic attacks. For some reason, anytime I was pregnant, I never had a full on panic attack. Thank you Jesus!

 As time went on, my boyfriend at the time (husband) joined the Military, we got married and moved to San Diego! I was away from anything I had ever known. I spent a lot of days feeling lonely and my anxiety began to get worse. 

 Over the years, I learned to manage my anxiety. I still had it, but I somehow was able to only let it go so far. Still, I was broken inside and didn't understand why!

 In 2009, I decided to seek counseling. I was at a point where, I needed answers. Why do I have anxiety? Is there something I am doing wrong? How do I make it go away? I needed to understand my ANXIETY  exactly for what it was. After, many sessions with my counselor we discovered it was linked to my childhood. I honestly thought I had let go of the past and moved on because I wasn't that child anymore. The truth is "That child still lives in me today."

 In 2011, I accepted Jesus into my heart. I trusted him to a certain point and although I really wanted to fully surrender, I just couldn't. At times, it made me question my Faith. Was I a good enough Christian? Was I truly saved, because if I was I would fully trust God with my life and wouldn't have anxiety. Instead, I trusted God with what I wanted, and my anxiety with the rest. 

 I love how loving and patient God has been with me. The truth is Salvation is a gift from God, that can't be earned. " God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can Boast about it." Ephesians 2:8-9

 Recently, a good friend of mine Vanessa shared her struggle with Anxiety with me. I remember tears streaming down my face because I felt her pain and our anxiety connected us. It's really hard to understand anxiety, unless you have experienced it. I knew God brought her to me for a reason.

 Also, during this time I had a health scare and had to see a Neurologist. We went over my MRI results and Praise God everything was clear. However, he reviewed my labs and asked me if I had anxiety? I immediately, thought to myself " I'm I acting anxious? How does he know?" I said, Yes... He looked at me and said " I would have never known by looking at you. You seem very upbeat and happy." I guess I have learned to hide it well. He explained to me, anxiety causes your oxygen to throw your body off by the way you breathe when your anxious. Sometimes, it effects your nutritional values.

 In that moment, I knew God, God was speaking directly through this DR. We talked about my anxiety for awhile and he said you have learned to deal with this as part of your life, but you don't have to. 
       
 It was time for me to dig deep and face my own Anxiety. It was time to really give it to God and trust him in this place where I have tried to control for so long!

 Today, I am in counseling for my anxiety and I'm excited to start this journey. Although, I know God is my foundation and is the one who will deliver me from my anxiety. It's alright to use other helpful resources. I also meet with Vanessa weekly for a Bible study on Overcoming Worry and trusting God. I love our time together. 

 Everyday, I have to make the choice to trust God. He is my Rock and Foundation!


 There are several types of Anxiety disorders:

Panic Disorder
   Generalized Anxiety Disorder
 Specific Phobias 
Social Anxiety Disorder


If you think you may be suffering from anxiety, I encourage you to reach out and tell someone or speak to your Dr.. You are not alone!

If you would like to reach out to me personally, Please feel free to email me. 




Blessings,
~Tara-Lyn









6 comments:

  1. I'm going to share this post because I don't think that people understand the severity of what they are going through. I can remember talking about how when we discovered that we had the same problems with anxiety but we thought we just worried too much about everything, even just ordering pizza was difficult sometimes. Having grown up together and faced the same issues I understand you. I am learning through psychology classes about coping and hope to gain more knowledge. I really enjoyed your blog and look forward to more post!

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  2. Hi Trista and Tara,

    It's refreshing to know that no matter what we experience we have the special gift of encouragement.
    I'm glad I came across this post on Blogging on Your Own Terms because it took me a long time to realize I suffer from anxiety too.
    There were circumstances beyond my control that tend to make me anxious or wear me down.
    Like you I worried about everything. But today I'm a lot better because our Lord told me not to worry but pray about everything.
    The idea of God guarding and guiding me is comforting. I need to remember when I turn my worries over to His care I will experience the inner peace that passes all understanding.

    Great reminder,
    Vernon

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have had anxiety for many years. I just didn't know how bad it is till recently when I decided to deal with it. My anxiety stems from my childhood and past relationships. I have been suffering quietly for thirty plus years. I suffer from multipale forms of anxiety including social, generalized, panic disorder and ptsd. I also suffer from depression. I never wanted to deal with any of this because I was afraid of feeling my feelings and what would come of them. I was ashamed of many things I did in my life and mad as hell about what was done to me. The panick attacks got worse over the years. I finally made the choice to talk to a counseler. This was a life changing decision for me. My anxiety is not gone but, it happens less and less. If you suffer from anxiety please talk to someone. Life is to short to live with the negative self talk and the pain and discomfort anxiety can bring into your life.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have had anxiety for many years. I just didn't know how bad it is till recently when I decided to deal with it. My anxiety stems from my childhood and past relationships. I have been suffering quietly for thirty plus years. I suffer from multipale forms of anxiety including social, generalized, panic disorder and ptsd. I also suffer from depression. I never wanted to deal with any of this because I was afraid of feeling my feelings and what would come of them. I was ashamed of many things I did in my life and mad as hell about what was done to me. The panick attacks got worse over the years. I finally made the choice to talk to a counseler. This was a life changing decision for me. My anxiety is not gone but, it happens less and less. If you suffer from anxiety please talk to someone. Life is to short to live with the negative self talk and the pain and discomfort anxiety can bring into your life.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank you for your transparency on this issue. It seems so many people hide this inside, instead of being open, so that others can see that they aren't alone in this struggle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you SaraMomofmany! It has been very freeing to be able to share this with others!

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