The Secret To Communicating With Your Teenager

 Do you have a Teenager? Do you have a trouble communicating with them? Well I have 2 teenagers and let me tell you, I feel your frustration at times.

 As mom's we want to feel connected to our children and we want to be part of their world.

 Only, once they become teenagers they start becoming more independent, and we just don't know how to handle that!

So we try to engage in conversation any chance we get. Then we try to get them to go places with us and most of the time they don't want to. We try everything we can think of to just get them to talk with us for 10 minutes.

It leaves us as mom's frustrated and our teenagers more probably even more frustrated.  

You see, when my oldest daughter started navigating through her teenage years, it was scary. We had always been so close, and then one day it stopped. Honestly, my heart was broken because I didn't understand what was happening at the time.

The close relationship we once had, she started to build within her friendships. She was turning to her friends for advice and connecting with them the way we used to connect.

With our Son's, it's a little bit different. They start becoming more independent and want you to do less for them and they stop talking to you the way they used to. At least most of them anyway ! Still, the relationship changes.




WHAT I HAVE LEARNED


Sometimes, As parents we don't understand what is happening and we just want things to go back to the way they were. So we PUSH for our teenagers to open up and Talk to us. 

~ The truth is this pushes them further away. As a teenager, their whole world is changing and they are trying to figure out who they are. Please don't ask your teen about their whole day at school... The last thing they want to talk about is how the day went. They are trying to process their day and that can be challenging enough. Instead, you can say " I hope you had a great day today". Leave it open and let your teen make the choice to share or not.


When your Teenager approaches you to talk, STOP what your doing and give them your full attention. Remember, this won't happen too often. Embrace it when you can! 

~ No matter what you may be doing, if you can stop and give your teen your undivided attention. I encourage you to do so. This will show your teen, no matter what you are doing, They are more important and what they have to say matters.


When your Teenager opens up about their personal life, Please don't react or judge them. This will only make them shut down.

~  Once your teenager opens up to you about their life.. You may hear things that will shock you or that you may be unhappy about. Be careful and choose your words wisely. Try to RESPOND and not REACT if need be. Trust me, I have been there and I have learned a lot during the process. Unless you really need to address a situation, Bite your tongue.


Your Teenager's friends are a huge part of their world. Please don't Judge them!

~ You're not going to care for all your teen's friends and that's alright, but please don't judge them. By doing so, you are telling your teenager their choice of friend's isn't good enough and it becomes a reflection of who they are. Honestly, this was a tough one for me. I have learned to love my teen's friends no matter who they are or what they do. You don't know everything about them and there is more to their story than you know!

 Sometimes,  You just need to Listen.

~ You don't have to give your teenager advice or respond every-time they come to you. Sometimes, they just want you to LISTEN. They want to be heard and a lot of the time they just want to share life with you.


I pray you find encouragement talking with your teenager. It's tough at times, but it doesn't always have to be!